i love this week. everything so far has gone so well, and everything so far has gone so well. the weather's perfect. i actually have things to do, even if all that means is write in my journal. i have a new sense of time management, one without class nor band in the picture, and it gives me a very different rundown of what i have considering the circumstances. the circumstances themselves, well, have been fantastic.
by the way, if you haven't seen down with love with ewan mcgregor and renee zellweger, i suggest you do. it's a great feel-good throwback-to-the-early-sixties movie, with the vivid colors and the singing and the dancing. all right, not that much singing, nor dancing (it isn't moulin rouge, after all), but a great movie nonetheless. if you liked any of those rock-doris movies, or if you just really want to see ewan mcgregor shirtless for more than a few scenes in the movie, then go for it. but of course, a good time will be had by all. it's a safe bet; i think you'll particularly enjoy the innuendo.
i even got a phone call today from my best friend nate whom i hadn't seen nor spoken to in a long while. no matter how brief the conversation was, i enjoyed hearing his voice over the phone, reminiscing about those good times down in socal. it was a good conversation to come back to, seeing as to how i was in the city for about a nice five or so hours helping shereen and eddie pick out new outfits at the levi's flagship store on post street, and then going on the compusa on market street to look at some stuff for computer building.
i should really hold my tongue because i know i'll get berated for having spoken all too soon -- but nothing's gone wrong, and i'm feeling right as rain.
out of berkeley in about five days or so. moving some stuff in and out, too. this weekend, my friends, will be quite the adventure.
and one last thing, for this has been the most burning question in the back of my mind ever since i got one of those site counter dealiemabobs (and i'm expecting a response -- ie, comments -- from each and every one of you, yes, you):
a/s/l?
migblog
5.30.2003
5.27.2003
just a quick update:
today is a very good day. in fact, yesterday wasn't so bad, either. the debauchcery i needed (and desperately wanted), i got, and today, i got my phone back --thank god! -- and i'm going to dinner and a movie. tomorrow, i'm signing a lease, and hopefully able to move some stuff out of room twelve and into apartment nineteen. the price is right is still awesome after all these years, mtv's the state was a highly underrated and underappreciated show, waking up next to someone amazing is... well, amazing, and today is a ridiculously beautiful berkeley summer day. the weather's perfect, the timing's right. to quote zidler, "everything's going so well!"
that is all. enjoy your summers, everyone!
today is a very good day. in fact, yesterday wasn't so bad, either. the debauchcery i needed (and desperately wanted), i got, and today, i got my phone back --thank god! -- and i'm going to dinner and a movie. tomorrow, i'm signing a lease, and hopefully able to move some stuff out of room twelve and into apartment nineteen. the price is right is still awesome after all these years, mtv's the state was a highly underrated and underappreciated show, waking up next to someone amazing is... well, amazing, and today is a ridiculously beautiful berkeley summer day. the weather's perfect, the timing's right. to quote zidler, "everything's going so well!"
that is all. enjoy your summers, everyone!
5.26.2003
i have no more roommates. it is a weird feeling to be experiencing, but, unlike the previous sentiments of my roommates being here and having no one to talk to, my roommates are all absent, yet i have no feelings of loneliness nor melancholy. not even a trace of depression nor, dare i say, of missing them. i'm just taking it easy, but with me, taking it easy would seem to equate with trying to be apathetic to the general cause(s) while i find some thing that will stimulate, hopfully, both the mind and the body.
i am bored out of my mind and into the frying pan only to come back out of the fire and proceed to enjoy the second- and third-degree burns that i will experience as a result from jumping out of the pan that was graciously greased up with extra virgin olive oil and sauteeing with two large chunks of boredom. you see how bored i am? this much. this much.
if you haven't visited my other site, please do so -- it's got a blog of its own, ooh -- and i'd appreciate some feedback on site design and content. what else do you think i can add to it?
and to quote my other blog, for i hate repeating myself (yet am about to do so right now), so here goes, and good night:
i've had just three things running through my mind these past two days. one of them is a song i can't get out of my head; the other two, i'd like to keep to myself for now. this boredom sure isn't helping me get rid of them nagging in my brain to do something about them, but at least now i've got cake's "the distance" groove out of my head. for the night.
today, my friends, is memorial day. hearkenings of sales in major department stores and visions of family picnics and flag-waving ceremonies abound. as for me, the past five have just been like any other day (no school, thank god), and those before did not even exist. today, i plan on being absolutely counter-productive like i have been every other memorial day. maybe i'll walk on memorial glade to say i did something, but besides that, i'm just left to ponder those two other things again. and again. and again.
remind me to have fun this summer, even though i'm taking eight units of math and looking for a job. i'll appreciate the diversion, and i'll love you even more.
those two things will nag the hell out of me until i either do something about them or forget about them in the presence of others. hmmm. hard to say which is going to come first in a room all to myself.
think, miguel, think...
when will i see you again?
i am bored out of my mind and into the frying pan only to come back out of the fire and proceed to enjoy the second- and third-degree burns that i will experience as a result from jumping out of the pan that was graciously greased up with extra virgin olive oil and sauteeing with two large chunks of boredom. you see how bored i am? this much. this much.
if you haven't visited my other site, please do so -- it's got a blog of its own, ooh -- and i'd appreciate some feedback on site design and content. what else do you think i can add to it?
and to quote my other blog, for i hate repeating myself (yet am about to do so right now), so here goes, and good night:
i've had just three things running through my mind these past two days. one of them is a song i can't get out of my head; the other two, i'd like to keep to myself for now. this boredom sure isn't helping me get rid of them nagging in my brain to do something about them, but at least now i've got cake's "the distance" groove out of my head. for the night.
today, my friends, is memorial day. hearkenings of sales in major department stores and visions of family picnics and flag-waving ceremonies abound. as for me, the past five have just been like any other day (no school, thank god), and those before did not even exist. today, i plan on being absolutely counter-productive like i have been every other memorial day. maybe i'll walk on memorial glade to say i did something, but besides that, i'm just left to ponder those two other things again. and again. and again.
remind me to have fun this summer, even though i'm taking eight units of math and looking for a job. i'll appreciate the diversion, and i'll love you even more.
those two things will nag the hell out of me until i either do something about them or forget about them in the presence of others. hmmm. hard to say which is going to come first in a room all to myself.
think, miguel, think...
when will i see you again?
5.24.2003
i win.
no more finals, just the rest of a week that should present itself very well to me, since i'll probably be unproductive.
when will i see you again?
i guess i don't win, after all...
no more finals, just the rest of a week that should present itself very well to me, since i'll probably be unproductive.
when will i see you again?
i guess i don't win, after all...
i just got back from engineering commencement, and now i have a final in fifteen minutes.
when will i see you again?
wish me luck, as i do to all of my friends who have graduated and deserve the very best. i love you all.
and most importantly, i'll see you all later. who knows when the later will come, but we'll see each other then.
when will i see you again?
wish me luck, as i do to all of my friends who have graduated and deserve the very best. i love you all.
and most importantly, i'll see you all later. who knows when the later will come, but we'll see each other then.
5.23.2003
this is a post of... well, you figure it out.
what the hell did people do before computers? play cards? send smoke signals? hunt for buffalo?
okay, i know, it's an excuse to take away from exclusive study-for-your-spanish-final-in-less-than-twenty-four-hours time, but seriously, folks: before this crazy boom of information otherwise known as the world wide web decided to puke in this area of the world known as cyberspace, what did people do for fun? i mean, everyday, i'm connected twenty-four/seven to this quasi-infinite tap of information. if i wanted to look something up, anything, from elvis to elves to elvish impersonators, i can type something in a search engine and go from there. it's so fast, and so creepy.
creepy in the sense that, if i type my name, eventually my website comes up or websites containing all this information about me pop up. and that's just me: now imagine my network of friends, and if i googled them. what do you get? mounds and mounds of useless information that only stalkers would enjoy (just admit it, you do it too.) -- like how someone was in the jazz band of their high school, or how another friend of yours was math club president, or how you never knew your roommate was the fastest runner in his school district. then you get the bizarre, some weird mentions of people's names in other people's websites, and the downright outrageous. try it sometime; if you google a name or two or hell, all of the people you ever knew. it could lead to some interesting background information, or just some eerie revelation about someone you know.
the days in berkeley are getting more and more beautiful, my goodness. each day seems to surpass the previous one with the weather and the circumstances it brings. like the course of this week, from extreme boredom on monday, review sessions on tuesday, two finals on wednesday, commencements on thursday, and relaxation now. tomorrow's another final, but i can deal with that. it's not going to kill me, or at least i don't think so. even still, if i get a b- or even a c in the class, then my gpa would be brought down to a ghastly (gasp!) three-point-seven. yeah, i know. you hate me. so far it's a four-point-oh. i'm not complaining.
tomorrow, i look forward to the commencement of the college of engineering (more than a handful of people are going to be graduating, band or otherwise -- there's joe igber, for goodness' sake!), my final final of the semester, and then, a week and a half of finishing shit up and figuring shit out. hopefully in the midst of all that i'm somewhat drunk or experiencing the throes of orgasm with another person, or maybe even reading a good book or two while doing laundry. anywho, i'm done after three-thirty tomorrow. show me love.
and on a very, very good note, i found out from the parking and transportation office as well as ucpd that my cellphone had been found. hallelujah, no bastards used it, and amen, thanks to whoever turned it back in. however, i can't get to retrieving my cellphone until wednesday because of this wonderful summer schedule that the lost and found department has. they may be such angel for keeping and having my phone, but they're bitches since they don't open until wednesday. i hate bitchy angels. they're the worst kind. (or maybe it was angelic bitches, if there are such things...)
yes, i'm still writing. it keeps me from looking at another spanish word, and that notebook staring me in the face. i know you're there, i'm just choosing to ignore you. like the one kid who tries so hard to fit in but fails to do so since, well, the irony of it all is that he tries too hard. i know a couple of people like that in my life. such a sad, sad construction to be in. glad i'm not in anything like that.
my schedule for the following soon, then, goes as so: saturday, miguel attends the engineering commencement at the greek to cheer on awesome people, then takes his last final of the semester, then probably will get back to his room and 'celebrate,' if you know what i mean. then sunday to next sunday, absolutely nothing, then monday and tuesday, even more absolutely nothing, until wednesday the fourth of june rolls around, in which case he will be flying back to anaheim hells (er, hills). it's like a pilgrimage, only there's no real spiritual fulfillment to be made. i just like the word.
i should be back from the fiery depths of the hells around june nineteenth or the twentieth by way of minivan, probably, to aid with the moving of stuffs. then i dawdle for three days, and then summer sessions start. woo. i'm so excited. two math classes. joy. rest assured, i'll keep you updated during my time in the purgatorio. hopefully my smart friends in limbo would know how to help a sinner out. or something. i'm not even studying dante, and i'm still alluding him. gah.
anyone out there interested in contributing to a magazinedealiemabob that i'm working on this summer? by 'contribute' i really mean 'whore your talent for free,' but you know. submissions will include anything and everything that's printable. yes, liam, even that condom collage of yours. i'll probably publish it online and you can print it out from there, but i'm hoping to make do of this newfound lots of time that i have. if you're interested at all, leave a comment or a tag with your email, so i can get back to you more on specifics and shtuff. yay. i feel productive, even though i'm procrastinating.at this very moment. so sue me.
in other news, i still need money, a new computer, and a job. someone hire me. i'm good at something. i think.
what the hell did people do before computers? play cards? send smoke signals? hunt for buffalo?
okay, i know, it's an excuse to take away from exclusive study-for-your-spanish-final-in-less-than-twenty-four-hours time, but seriously, folks: before this crazy boom of information otherwise known as the world wide web decided to puke in this area of the world known as cyberspace, what did people do for fun? i mean, everyday, i'm connected twenty-four/seven to this quasi-infinite tap of information. if i wanted to look something up, anything, from elvis to elves to elvish impersonators, i can type something in a search engine and go from there. it's so fast, and so creepy.
creepy in the sense that, if i type my name, eventually my website comes up or websites containing all this information about me pop up. and that's just me: now imagine my network of friends, and if i googled them. what do you get? mounds and mounds of useless information that only stalkers would enjoy (just admit it, you do it too.) -- like how someone was in the jazz band of their high school, or how another friend of yours was math club president, or how you never knew your roommate was the fastest runner in his school district. then you get the bizarre, some weird mentions of people's names in other people's websites, and the downright outrageous. try it sometime; if you google a name or two or hell, all of the people you ever knew. it could lead to some interesting background information, or just some eerie revelation about someone you know.
the days in berkeley are getting more and more beautiful, my goodness. each day seems to surpass the previous one with the weather and the circumstances it brings. like the course of this week, from extreme boredom on monday, review sessions on tuesday, two finals on wednesday, commencements on thursday, and relaxation now. tomorrow's another final, but i can deal with that. it's not going to kill me, or at least i don't think so. even still, if i get a b- or even a c in the class, then my gpa would be brought down to a ghastly (gasp!) three-point-seven. yeah, i know. you hate me. so far it's a four-point-oh. i'm not complaining.
tomorrow, i look forward to the commencement of the college of engineering (more than a handful of people are going to be graduating, band or otherwise -- there's joe igber, for goodness' sake!), my final final of the semester, and then, a week and a half of finishing shit up and figuring shit out. hopefully in the midst of all that i'm somewhat drunk or experiencing the throes of orgasm with another person, or maybe even reading a good book or two while doing laundry. anywho, i'm done after three-thirty tomorrow. show me love.
and on a very, very good note, i found out from the parking and transportation office as well as ucpd that my cellphone had been found. hallelujah, no bastards used it, and amen, thanks to whoever turned it back in. however, i can't get to retrieving my cellphone until wednesday because of this wonderful summer schedule that the lost and found department has. they may be such angel for keeping and having my phone, but they're bitches since they don't open until wednesday. i hate bitchy angels. they're the worst kind. (or maybe it was angelic bitches, if there are such things...)
yes, i'm still writing. it keeps me from looking at another spanish word, and that notebook staring me in the face. i know you're there, i'm just choosing to ignore you. like the one kid who tries so hard to fit in but fails to do so since, well, the irony of it all is that he tries too hard. i know a couple of people like that in my life. such a sad, sad construction to be in. glad i'm not in anything like that.
my schedule for the following soon, then, goes as so: saturday, miguel attends the engineering commencement at the greek to cheer on awesome people, then takes his last final of the semester, then probably will get back to his room and 'celebrate,' if you know what i mean. then sunday to next sunday, absolutely nothing, then monday and tuesday, even more absolutely nothing, until wednesday the fourth of june rolls around, in which case he will be flying back to anaheim hells (er, hills). it's like a pilgrimage, only there's no real spiritual fulfillment to be made. i just like the word.
i should be back from the fiery depths of the hells around june nineteenth or the twentieth by way of minivan, probably, to aid with the moving of stuffs. then i dawdle for three days, and then summer sessions start. woo. i'm so excited. two math classes. joy. rest assured, i'll keep you updated during my time in the purgatorio. hopefully my smart friends in limbo would know how to help a sinner out. or something. i'm not even studying dante, and i'm still alluding him. gah.
anyone out there interested in contributing to a magazinedealiemabob that i'm working on this summer? by 'contribute' i really mean 'whore your talent for free,' but you know. submissions will include anything and everything that's printable. yes, liam, even that condom collage of yours. i'll probably publish it online and you can print it out from there, but i'm hoping to make do of this newfound lots of time that i have. if you're interested at all, leave a comment or a tag with your email, so i can get back to you more on specifics and shtuff. yay. i feel productive, even though i'm procrastinating.at this very moment. so sue me.
in other news, i still need money, a new computer, and a job. someone hire me. i'm good at something. i think.
5.21.2003
so much for being hellish today. hellishly warm outside, maybe -- it's as if berkeley was in southern california with the heat and dry air and stuff. at least there wasn't the winds that smell like cow shit, or the blatantly fake people wandering on 'melrose' or in their superconvertiblerich cars, just bums on telegraph and frazzled undergraduates taking their final exams. so i had two. no big deal.
portuguese final was a cakewalk. i ended up having two hours to spare (of the three allotted to take the final), which was actually very nice. the room we were taking it in, two thirty-four hearst gym, was an oven. but as i was leaving, this guy in the front row gives me an incredulous look, saying "you're done?!?" at the top of his lungs, making the class stare at me with a) hate, b) disgust, c) bewilderment or d) a combination of all of the above. i had a few hours to spare to review some of my mcb material, then went to haas pavilion (yeah, the basketball court) for my mcb final. once again, i ended up having two hours to spare (of the three allotted to take the final).
in other words, boys and girls, i kicked both of my finals' asses today.
now that those two are out of the way, i have much more time to concentrate on my pending spanish final, getting stuff ready to move out, and doing this apartment shit.
justin timberlake's 'rock your body' and 'oh no what you got' are two very addicting songs to listen to. maybe it's the inner boy-band addict in me, the closet teenybopper per se, but who cares -- whatever he's doing, i like it, and i don't care for more. (the entire album, in general, is very good anyway; so sue me if i like him.) i've just been listening here and there to some radio stuff, rotating with a classical collection and another esoteric rock collection.
obviously not listening to jacob's blasting of weird al yankovic over his massive enormogantous-ginormous sound system, but then again, that's why i'm wearing my headphones and blasting some justin on full volume. i dunno, i've never really like weird al (except for that one song, 'i got a funny feeling / you don't love me anymore...' cos it sounded sincere). white people, though, apparently find him to be a musical genius. it has to have something to do with the polka, i'm sure. (oh you silly white kids, i still love you all.)
political science commencement at the greek tomorrow. it's at two, so i guess i'll go since i have not much better to do. it'll be a nice diversion from studying so damn much. (i haven't slept much this week. like the past two days have been one long stream of consciousness.)
and now i'm off to analyze some literary works in spanish. if you emailed me or wanted a translation of the post from two days ago, i'll get that to you soon. it's kinda important that i get an a in this class first, though. otherwise miguel won't get into his double major at the end of fall semester.
portuguese final was a cakewalk. i ended up having two hours to spare (of the three allotted to take the final), which was actually very nice. the room we were taking it in, two thirty-four hearst gym, was an oven. but as i was leaving, this guy in the front row gives me an incredulous look, saying "you're done?!?" at the top of his lungs, making the class stare at me with a) hate, b) disgust, c) bewilderment or d) a combination of all of the above. i had a few hours to spare to review some of my mcb material, then went to haas pavilion (yeah, the basketball court) for my mcb final. once again, i ended up having two hours to spare (of the three allotted to take the final).
in other words, boys and girls, i kicked both of my finals' asses today.
now that those two are out of the way, i have much more time to concentrate on my pending spanish final, getting stuff ready to move out, and doing this apartment shit.
justin timberlake's 'rock your body' and 'oh no what you got' are two very addicting songs to listen to. maybe it's the inner boy-band addict in me, the closet teenybopper per se, but who cares -- whatever he's doing, i like it, and i don't care for more. (the entire album, in general, is very good anyway; so sue me if i like him.) i've just been listening here and there to some radio stuff, rotating with a classical collection and another esoteric rock collection.
obviously not listening to jacob's blasting of weird al yankovic over his massive enormogantous-ginormous sound system, but then again, that's why i'm wearing my headphones and blasting some justin on full volume. i dunno, i've never really like weird al (except for that one song, 'i got a funny feeling / you don't love me anymore...' cos it sounded sincere). white people, though, apparently find him to be a musical genius. it has to have something to do with the polka, i'm sure. (oh you silly white kids, i still love you all.)
political science commencement at the greek tomorrow. it's at two, so i guess i'll go since i have not much better to do. it'll be a nice diversion from studying so damn much. (i haven't slept much this week. like the past two days have been one long stream of consciousness.)
and now i'm off to analyze some literary works in spanish. if you emailed me or wanted a translation of the post from two days ago, i'll get that to you soon. it's kinda important that i get an a in this class first, though. otherwise miguel won't get into his double major at the end of fall semester.
final in t minus less than one hour. then, another one an hour and a half after that, so you won't be hearing from me until i'm delirious past eight tonight. and to think, i'm not even done until saturday afternoon (yes, i'm taking finals then, too). i'll let you all know how it goes and stuff, but fair warning, since today is more than a bit hellish.
i still haven't found my cellphone. ubersuck.
more issues, so little time. i'll fill you all in once i'm done with my finals today. wish me luck, i'll need as much as i can get. especially on the biology side of things.
i still haven't found my cellphone. ubersuck.
more issues, so little time. i'll fill you all in once i'm done with my finals today. wish me luck, i'll need as much as i can get. especially on the biology side of things.
5.20.2003
so i lost my cellphone. suckness. if you want get a hold of me, email me instead.
this week is not looking pretty at all.
this week is not looking pretty at all.
5.19.2003
gising ako kagabi hanggang a las tres ng umaga, galing ko lang sa library at walang magawa. kaka-graduate lang nila ann, shereen, at courtney kahapon: ibig sabihin, tapos na sila dito sa berkeley. kakaiba rin ang naramdaman ko nung napansin ko na hindi ko na sila makikita araw-araw. minsan, pinapangarap ko kung paano man lang nag-iba ang buhay ko kapag nakipag-usapan kaming lahat. kunwari, kapag nag-uusap kami ni jon, tuwang-tuwa ako kasi nakikilala ko siya, at minsan nag-iiba ang pag-iisip ko sa kanya. problema nga lang, tapos na siya sa sabado, at hindi niya alam kung ano ang gagawin niya sa buhay niya, katulad ng maraming tao dito.
hindi ko maalis sa isip ko na ang karamihan ng mga kaibigan ko dito ay tapos na sa kanilang edikasyon dito sa berkeley. yung iba, napagod na sa banda, at hindi na babalik sa programa. magkaibigan pa rin kaming lahat, ano pa, pero hindi ko maisip na ang dami sa kanila na hindi babalik. at ang pinakanakakainis, hindi ko alam kung kailan ko uli makikita itong mga taong to.
lilipat na nga ako sa apartment, pero hindi ko pa rin alam kung natapos na nung mama ko yung mga papeles, kaya hindi ko pa rin alam kung kailan ako aalis sa th at lilipat sa apartment. putanginang housing, nakakaasar lang.
ewan ko kung bakit, pero pinakikinggan ko lang lahat ng mga dinownload kong kanta. ang galing talaga ni justin timberlake, gusto ko yung tugtog nya, di bale na dating nsync siya. magaling siyang artista, yun lang naman ang kailangan mo para sa akin.
kailangan ko rin ng pera, at bagong computer.
sana naman, hindi ako malilimutan nitong mga kaibigan kong aalis. mahal ko lahat sila.
[you know you want a translation. ask someone who speaks tagalog, or email me.]
hindi ko maalis sa isip ko na ang karamihan ng mga kaibigan ko dito ay tapos na sa kanilang edikasyon dito sa berkeley. yung iba, napagod na sa banda, at hindi na babalik sa programa. magkaibigan pa rin kaming lahat, ano pa, pero hindi ko maisip na ang dami sa kanila na hindi babalik. at ang pinakanakakainis, hindi ko alam kung kailan ko uli makikita itong mga taong to.
lilipat na nga ako sa apartment, pero hindi ko pa rin alam kung natapos na nung mama ko yung mga papeles, kaya hindi ko pa rin alam kung kailan ako aalis sa th at lilipat sa apartment. putanginang housing, nakakaasar lang.
ewan ko kung bakit, pero pinakikinggan ko lang lahat ng mga dinownload kong kanta. ang galing talaga ni justin timberlake, gusto ko yung tugtog nya, di bale na dating nsync siya. magaling siyang artista, yun lang naman ang kailangan mo para sa akin.
kailangan ko rin ng pera, at bagong computer.
sana naman, hindi ako malilimutan nitong mga kaibigan kong aalis. mahal ko lahat sila.
[you know you want a translation. ask someone who speaks tagalog, or email me.]
5.18.2003
more than you will ever know
and more than i will ever admit to.
sleep well and smile for me.
it's a weird feeling, this. i'm trying to let it sink in that today might be the last day i would hang out with ann and emily. then, it's a game of who's next. it's as if i'm supposed to be happy for saying goodbye to these people, and for them i am, but for me, i'm saddened. saddened but grateful, but still. how do i tell someone that i'm going to miss them so much, with such uncertainty of when i'm going to see them again? how do you tell someone you love them so much and don't know when you'll see them next?
i thought i grew out of this last year, when people said goodbye to me instead of me saying goodbye to people. i guess not. and this time around, saying goodbye's that much worse since there's no certainty embedded in all of this. it's not like saying goodbye to high school friends, since they'll be at the same place for a while. just the mere thought of a few people leaving seems so alien to me. jenny's going to michigan; that's so weird. ginger's in europe right now. and again, the question becomes: who's next?
i have never been so sure and unsure in my entire life until now, three twenty in the morning of may eighteenth, two thousand three. never have i been more sure of so many things, and so unsure of so many other things. half of me wants to say everything i know, and the other half wants to hug me like there's no tomorrow to comfort me. i am a confused and certain young man, striving to be the opposite of complacent and the paramount of focus.
more than you will ever know, and more than i will ever admit to. sleep well and smile for me.
and more than i will ever admit to.
sleep well and smile for me.
it's a weird feeling, this. i'm trying to let it sink in that today might be the last day i would hang out with ann and emily. then, it's a game of who's next. it's as if i'm supposed to be happy for saying goodbye to these people, and for them i am, but for me, i'm saddened. saddened but grateful, but still. how do i tell someone that i'm going to miss them so much, with such uncertainty of when i'm going to see them again? how do you tell someone you love them so much and don't know when you'll see them next?
i thought i grew out of this last year, when people said goodbye to me instead of me saying goodbye to people. i guess not. and this time around, saying goodbye's that much worse since there's no certainty embedded in all of this. it's not like saying goodbye to high school friends, since they'll be at the same place for a while. just the mere thought of a few people leaving seems so alien to me. jenny's going to michigan; that's so weird. ginger's in europe right now. and again, the question becomes: who's next?
i have never been so sure and unsure in my entire life until now, three twenty in the morning of may eighteenth, two thousand three. never have i been more sure of so many things, and so unsure of so many other things. half of me wants to say everything i know, and the other half wants to hug me like there's no tomorrow to comfort me. i am a confused and certain young man, striving to be the opposite of complacent and the paramount of focus.
more than you will ever know, and more than i will ever admit to. sleep well and smile for me.
5.15.2003
today's taboo topic: religion. again. now that the matrix reloaded is out, and with all the references to biblical figures and sacrificial archetypes, i couldn't help thinking about some things that have happened that make me believe in no one religion.
i remember (albeit not distinctly) when i fell out with the church. i was around fourteen, unsure of what was going to happen to me in high school. nights before i used to pray and converse with god. my faith had waned, up until religion felt more like a burden to my psyche rather than an augmentation to my spirit. i didn't celebrate my religion, i mourned it. i guess it's characteristic of a religion that immediately turns its followers into sinners trying to redeem themselves, starting out with an imperfection that is assumed.
then i remember there was this scandal on putting up the ten commandments in schools and stuff. first, i thought, this was a direct violation of the doctrine of separating church and state; second, i thought this was imposing on the free will of other worshippers of other religions; third, citizenship in school works differently than in normal society and therefore irrelevant to the cause; and fourthly, the first four commandments have nothing to do with being a good citizen, talking strictly about the worship of but one supreme being and the boundaries of the usage of his name, his appearance, and other wishy-washy stuff dependent on the christian individual.
when prompted, my roommate brian's response was to say "i'm atheist." i screamed and applauded in approval. and then, the barrage of comments came: someone said that they have never been unsure of herself until she found god; another person said that it's a great experience. brian said "i never really looked into it much." maybe it didn't appeal to him, whatever. but someone said "maybe you should." and i winced, and continued what i was doing. i thought people here at berkeley would be better than that, but i guess some things just don't change.
now i'm not gonna get mad and stereotype all of you god-followers; some of you are my closest friends, and some of you are family. but it's this mentality of intolerance that some of your folks have that bothers me so much, that you're right and i'm wrong, and that i, no matter how deeply rooted in my convictions i might be, will always be somewhat living a life of lesser quality than yours since i don't have god with me.
frankly, ladies and gentlemen, i do not care nor even want god in my life. shocker. gasp. wow. yes, i just said that out loud.
and this seeming equity of uncertainty and atheism surely did not help the cause in any way. unsure of life... does that mean you didn't know how to do things until you found god? if so, then good for you for finding him. let that be your positive experience, share it with the rest of the world. but don't try to make me feel bad just because i'm a bit stronger (or more stubborn, however you want to look at it) that i don't need god in my life to do things the way i want to do things. finding myself might eventually mean requiring god's help -- and with that, of course, his existence -- but for now, it's just not entirely feasible in my head.
i remember one of my friends telling me that they saw a sign in the middle of america that said "thou shalt not lie" quoting god. now, if i remember correctly, the ninth commandment expressly states that "thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor" -- something totally different than lying. hell, god lied to abraham about killing isaac, and to adam and eve about the apple. sure, lying's bad, but do you really want to tell your best friend that she's not fat when she's morbidly obese, or that your cousin only has a cold when in fact it's some form of lung cancer nobody understands?
there was a lecture held here on campus about the existence of god led by dr. william lane craig, apparently a very famous theologian. he argues that god's existence did not depend on time, that coincidences we take for granted are coincidences that would fail at the most marginal error factor, and that faith is necessary for human existence. i enjoyed his lecture very much; it wasn't imposing, it was informational and as objective as he could possibly be. given that, i still don't believe in one supreme being. time, causality, impetus, it's all in my head, but it doesn't quite fit.
i can't really verbalize that missing piece -- maybe i just lack faith -- bit whatever it is, it's the one thing missing from me becoming the full devout christian i used to be.
and onto happier things: noli and i have found housing about two blocks away from campus! we'll be livin' it up next to the first presbyterian church, so i guess that relates somehow to the religion talk i was yapping about. we'll let you know about the first party cos it'll be good. i promise stripping and badmouthing. oh yeah.
i remember (albeit not distinctly) when i fell out with the church. i was around fourteen, unsure of what was going to happen to me in high school. nights before i used to pray and converse with god. my faith had waned, up until religion felt more like a burden to my psyche rather than an augmentation to my spirit. i didn't celebrate my religion, i mourned it. i guess it's characteristic of a religion that immediately turns its followers into sinners trying to redeem themselves, starting out with an imperfection that is assumed.
then i remember there was this scandal on putting up the ten commandments in schools and stuff. first, i thought, this was a direct violation of the doctrine of separating church and state; second, i thought this was imposing on the free will of other worshippers of other religions; third, citizenship in school works differently than in normal society and therefore irrelevant to the cause; and fourthly, the first four commandments have nothing to do with being a good citizen, talking strictly about the worship of but one supreme being and the boundaries of the usage of his name, his appearance, and other wishy-washy stuff dependent on the christian individual.
when prompted, my roommate brian's response was to say "i'm atheist." i screamed and applauded in approval. and then, the barrage of comments came: someone said that they have never been unsure of herself until she found god; another person said that it's a great experience. brian said "i never really looked into it much." maybe it didn't appeal to him, whatever. but someone said "maybe you should." and i winced, and continued what i was doing. i thought people here at berkeley would be better than that, but i guess some things just don't change.
now i'm not gonna get mad and stereotype all of you god-followers; some of you are my closest friends, and some of you are family. but it's this mentality of intolerance that some of your folks have that bothers me so much, that you're right and i'm wrong, and that i, no matter how deeply rooted in my convictions i might be, will always be somewhat living a life of lesser quality than yours since i don't have god with me.
frankly, ladies and gentlemen, i do not care nor even want god in my life. shocker. gasp. wow. yes, i just said that out loud.
and this seeming equity of uncertainty and atheism surely did not help the cause in any way. unsure of life... does that mean you didn't know how to do things until you found god? if so, then good for you for finding him. let that be your positive experience, share it with the rest of the world. but don't try to make me feel bad just because i'm a bit stronger (or more stubborn, however you want to look at it) that i don't need god in my life to do things the way i want to do things. finding myself might eventually mean requiring god's help -- and with that, of course, his existence -- but for now, it's just not entirely feasible in my head.
i remember one of my friends telling me that they saw a sign in the middle of america that said "thou shalt not lie" quoting god. now, if i remember correctly, the ninth commandment expressly states that "thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor" -- something totally different than lying. hell, god lied to abraham about killing isaac, and to adam and eve about the apple. sure, lying's bad, but do you really want to tell your best friend that she's not fat when she's morbidly obese, or that your cousin only has a cold when in fact it's some form of lung cancer nobody understands?
there was a lecture held here on campus about the existence of god led by dr. william lane craig, apparently a very famous theologian. he argues that god's existence did not depend on time, that coincidences we take for granted are coincidences that would fail at the most marginal error factor, and that faith is necessary for human existence. i enjoyed his lecture very much; it wasn't imposing, it was informational and as objective as he could possibly be. given that, i still don't believe in one supreme being. time, causality, impetus, it's all in my head, but it doesn't quite fit.
i can't really verbalize that missing piece -- maybe i just lack faith -- bit whatever it is, it's the one thing missing from me becoming the full devout christian i used to be.
and onto happier things: noli and i have found housing about two blocks away from campus! we'll be livin' it up next to the first presbyterian church, so i guess that relates somehow to the religion talk i was yapping about. we'll let you know about the first party cos it'll be good. i promise stripping and badmouthing. oh yeah.
5.14.2003
matrix reloaded preview goodness. i needed to change my pants a total of about five times, more or less. definitely worth seeing, although some parts were a bit predictable. very well done, nonetheless. and like i have been saying, orgasmic in all senses of the word. go see it. you'll probably need a change of pants too, i'm guessing. everything was awesome, it was great, it was fantastic. and be sure to stay post-credits; you'll like what you'll see.
special thanks to becca and her momma for letting us in this whole wonderful thing.
tanya got to the colma station only a few minutes behind us, but now she's the only one with all her stuff since the rest of us have stuff in the office. excluding jeremy, we're all making trips back and recouping stuff.
news on the housing front looks good: either a one-plus unit right next door to newman hall, or a one-plus unit next to first presbyterian. either way, it'll be next to a church, and dude, it's gonna be fun. as long as i'm not drunk and pissing on a church wall. noli and i decide tomorrow, although we're leaning heavily towards the one next to newman. oh yeah. filipino bonding? indeed. i can smell it in the air.
anyway. just wanted to say the matrix was awesome, and that housing looks good. now it's time for me to go to bed and dream about the beautiful beautiful matrix reality. i wanna learn how to do some of that shit. oh hellz yes.
oh hellz yes indeed.
special thanks to becca and her momma for letting us in this whole wonderful thing.
tanya got to the colma station only a few minutes behind us, but now she's the only one with all her stuff since the rest of us have stuff in the office. excluding jeremy, we're all making trips back and recouping stuff.
news on the housing front looks good: either a one-plus unit right next door to newman hall, or a one-plus unit next to first presbyterian. either way, it'll be next to a church, and dude, it's gonna be fun. as long as i'm not drunk and pissing on a church wall. noli and i decide tomorrow, although we're leaning heavily towards the one next to newman. oh yeah. filipino bonding? indeed. i can smell it in the air.
anyway. just wanted to say the matrix was awesome, and that housing looks good. now it's time for me to go to bed and dream about the beautiful beautiful matrix reality. i wanna learn how to do some of that shit. oh hellz yes.
oh hellz yes indeed.
5.11.2003
water is beautiful.
i have never enjoyed hip-hop in a more exciting way than tonight. jurassic five and the living legends were awesome (although i must admit strung out was a bit out of place in a hip-hop bill). the crowd was energetic, the music was sending chills down everyone's spines, the weed smoke was plentiful, and the arrhythmic white boys were very conspicuous. all in all, an awesome night, having gone to the greek with brian (thanks for the ticket yo!), meeting up with sam and cris, and then hanging out with gina at daruma. talked some shit, and then i worked on my personal site. please take a look at it, and tell me what you think (besides it being too bare-bones and simple... that was kinda the point).
and i can feel the finals season creeping in: my sleepless nights are coming back. i don't think i ever fully recovered from last semester on the lines of sleep. and this cold sure isn't getting better without any. i don't have finals until the twenty-first (when i will then have two! in a row! yay!). this one week of "break" might give me something to do, like go to ann and emily's grad party or shereen's grad party or the commencements of some people. ah, the bittersweetness of goodbyes...
there's a wind ensemble concert today, too... i hope the cold doesn't mess me up.
and on that, ladies and gentlemen, it's about 4.40. good night/morning, i'll see you in a bit.
i have never enjoyed hip-hop in a more exciting way than tonight. jurassic five and the living legends were awesome (although i must admit strung out was a bit out of place in a hip-hop bill). the crowd was energetic, the music was sending chills down everyone's spines, the weed smoke was plentiful, and the arrhythmic white boys were very conspicuous. all in all, an awesome night, having gone to the greek with brian (thanks for the ticket yo!), meeting up with sam and cris, and then hanging out with gina at daruma. talked some shit, and then i worked on my personal site. please take a look at it, and tell me what you think (besides it being too bare-bones and simple... that was kinda the point).
and i can feel the finals season creeping in: my sleepless nights are coming back. i don't think i ever fully recovered from last semester on the lines of sleep. and this cold sure isn't getting better without any. i don't have finals until the twenty-first (when i will then have two! in a row! yay!). this one week of "break" might give me something to do, like go to ann and emily's grad party or shereen's grad party or the commencements of some people. ah, the bittersweetness of goodbyes...
there's a wind ensemble concert today, too... i hope the cold doesn't mess me up.
and on that, ladies and gentlemen, it's about 4.40. good night/morning, i'll see you in a bit.
5.08.2003
today was ridiculously beautiful. it showered outside for a few minutes before i left for my last portuguese workshop class of the semester (sadness...), and then there was sun and more ridiculous beauty. it was like a scene from a movie. i half-expected to see the perfect suburban house behind vlsb, you know, one with a white picket fence, a husband and wife and their two and a half kids dressed in gap clothing with smiles on their faces. the black labrador playing with the sprinkler in the lawn would be highlighted by the saccharine blue of the sky. and i would be wishing that i felt better since this cold and this cough and this sore throat sure as hell are not going away by themselves.
it's also only a quarter til eight right now in the room, but once again, i'm all alone. go bears.
maybe it's just preparation for the upcoming year. i'm expecting to have a place by then (yeah, woo, no housing just yet). actually, now that i think about it, a lot of people acted a bit shocked when i told them i was planning to move out of th. zach said it was my kind of place, angela said i was the perfect house member, and a bunch of people were thinking i would stay here for a while. well, due to a few things, i've decided against living here next year. it might be a longshot trying to find any decent living quarters now, but i think it'd be better for me since my schedule is entirely fucked up in the fall.
so on the academic side once again, i think the cognitive science department has taken a big shit on all the undergraduates trying to declare the major, since math fifty-five (discrete mathematics)is looking like a prerequisite now. they're making it mandatory for everyone to take math fifty-five before they can take computer science one-eighty-eight (artificial intelligence), which is a core class for the upper division requirement. more red tape, more units, all the juniors and sophomores just took the biggest crap in their pants right now trying to fit that class in their schedules. looks as if i'll have to substitute math for statistics in my summer schedule.
the crazy thing is, now that it's almost eight, and sitting in the same spoot in this chair facing the tv, i watched the sunset. the trees and the buildings outside were bathed a lustrous gold, then a robust orange, and now a sultry red. the hum of jacob's computer is in the background, the click-clack of my keyboard is tapping some weird rhythm, and my nose is still stuffy and running. i've spent fifteen minutes rambling on about things i consider worthy of noting and then proceed to write in here.
by the way, noli, if you read this, thanks for the ride home last night. i'm fine, if you're wondering. didn't mean to scare you -- there's nothing i can do about it, and it sucks.
and now there's a light shower again. ahh, california weather. just like your celebrities: give it five minutes, it'll change. but i guess change is a good thing, considering berkeley is now starting to lull thanks once again to finals week, which happens next week. (along with the matrix 2, which you know will screw with everyone who has a final that day.)
yeah. it's only thursday. everyone can't wait for tomorrow to come. yeah, even you.
it's also only a quarter til eight right now in the room, but once again, i'm all alone. go bears.
maybe it's just preparation for the upcoming year. i'm expecting to have a place by then (yeah, woo, no housing just yet). actually, now that i think about it, a lot of people acted a bit shocked when i told them i was planning to move out of th. zach said it was my kind of place, angela said i was the perfect house member, and a bunch of people were thinking i would stay here for a while. well, due to a few things, i've decided against living here next year. it might be a longshot trying to find any decent living quarters now, but i think it'd be better for me since my schedule is entirely fucked up in the fall.
so on the academic side once again, i think the cognitive science department has taken a big shit on all the undergraduates trying to declare the major, since math fifty-five (discrete mathematics)is looking like a prerequisite now. they're making it mandatory for everyone to take math fifty-five before they can take computer science one-eighty-eight (artificial intelligence), which is a core class for the upper division requirement. more red tape, more units, all the juniors and sophomores just took the biggest crap in their pants right now trying to fit that class in their schedules. looks as if i'll have to substitute math for statistics in my summer schedule.
the crazy thing is, now that it's almost eight, and sitting in the same spoot in this chair facing the tv, i watched the sunset. the trees and the buildings outside were bathed a lustrous gold, then a robust orange, and now a sultry red. the hum of jacob's computer is in the background, the click-clack of my keyboard is tapping some weird rhythm, and my nose is still stuffy and running. i've spent fifteen minutes rambling on about things i consider worthy of noting and then proceed to write in here.
by the way, noli, if you read this, thanks for the ride home last night. i'm fine, if you're wondering. didn't mean to scare you -- there's nothing i can do about it, and it sucks.
and now there's a light shower again. ahh, california weather. just like your celebrities: give it five minutes, it'll change. but i guess change is a good thing, considering berkeley is now starting to lull thanks once again to finals week, which happens next week. (along with the matrix 2, which you know will screw with everyone who has a final that day.)
yeah. it's only thursday. everyone can't wait for tomorrow to come. yeah, even you.
5.06.2003
i guess i never really noticed it, but every time i'm posting to this thing and someone's watching behind my back, i feel as if i can't write. of course it's oxymoronic, i mean, you'll end up reading this thing anyway, and whether or not you're behind me should be a matter of little or no importance. i guess i just make it out to be one. but it really is uncomfortable writing down a stream of consciousness while someone's analyzing it on the fly. it's kinda like writing under pressure, like those timed writing exercises in high school so that you could get the best grade for AP tests. whatever, i guess i just need to get over it.
it's a big difference, though, when after you write something, people respond. all those little comments after these entries are a bit unnerving to read for the first time. someday i'd like to scroll back and eventually find a critical comment on each of my works of poetry (god, if only that happened), then revise and rewrite and draft and stuff. i want to get back into that mode of free writing, one where i don't have to feel all constricted whenever someone's looking, or when i don't have to feel self-conscious every time i'm expressing myself through ink or code.
i never really thought about it, but i guess i agree with nate when i say enjoying print material is so much better than audio. spoken word artists definitely have earned my respect, but man, if you can write, you can write, and therefore, you are a god. (to me, at least.) ink is so much more tangible and lasting than what you hear. i'm much more so a visual person too, so i guess that plays into it. as far as media goes, ink and paper are my top two choices, followed by art stuffs (think paint and canvas or watercolors and chalks), followed by virtual media (computer code), food (if that counts), and then audio. i adore music, i adore spoken word, but as far as those things go, ink on paper would be my choice if i were to be stuck with one thing all my life.
on the academic side of things, i just finished my spanish seminar class today. the section title was "talking funny in print" which dealt with phonetic and dialectical representations of spoken language into printed word. (once again, there's the ink and paper.) i presented on accents and popular perceptions (a presentation topic apparently worthy enough to be a senior thesis -- ask me for the email and i'll show it to you). maybe i was just being too ambitious, but it worked out fine in the end. that seminar was one of the best classes i have ever taken, and it's shown me that cal still has a long way to go concerning areas of language diversity and tolerance. as if i could change anything in this school of thirty thousand kids -- oh, pardon me, young adults -- by bitching about the status of the language crisis. maybe that's how they looked at things, that bitching would solve the problem. that would explain so many things about why we have so many protests around here.
i feel as if i'm coming down with a cold, but my throat's been really sore, my sinuses have been extremely dry, and my head seems to like to give me aches at random moments of the day. i want to get better as soon as possible, since, well, i'd like to be able to move my stuff and not have to puke all over the place while i'm transporting materials from one house to another.
happy birthday, shereen, you're twenty-two. wow, i feel young...
and now, i think, is nap time. go bears. (and pick up a copy of hardboiled if you haven't done so already!)
it's a big difference, though, when after you write something, people respond. all those little comments after these entries are a bit unnerving to read for the first time. someday i'd like to scroll back and eventually find a critical comment on each of my works of poetry (god, if only that happened), then revise and rewrite and draft and stuff. i want to get back into that mode of free writing, one where i don't have to feel all constricted whenever someone's looking, or when i don't have to feel self-conscious every time i'm expressing myself through ink or code.
i never really thought about it, but i guess i agree with nate when i say enjoying print material is so much better than audio. spoken word artists definitely have earned my respect, but man, if you can write, you can write, and therefore, you are a god. (to me, at least.) ink is so much more tangible and lasting than what you hear. i'm much more so a visual person too, so i guess that plays into it. as far as media goes, ink and paper are my top two choices, followed by art stuffs (think paint and canvas or watercolors and chalks), followed by virtual media (computer code), food (if that counts), and then audio. i adore music, i adore spoken word, but as far as those things go, ink on paper would be my choice if i were to be stuck with one thing all my life.
on the academic side of things, i just finished my spanish seminar class today. the section title was "talking funny in print" which dealt with phonetic and dialectical representations of spoken language into printed word. (once again, there's the ink and paper.) i presented on accents and popular perceptions (a presentation topic apparently worthy enough to be a senior thesis -- ask me for the email and i'll show it to you). maybe i was just being too ambitious, but it worked out fine in the end. that seminar was one of the best classes i have ever taken, and it's shown me that cal still has a long way to go concerning areas of language diversity and tolerance. as if i could change anything in this school of thirty thousand kids -- oh, pardon me, young adults -- by bitching about the status of the language crisis. maybe that's how they looked at things, that bitching would solve the problem. that would explain so many things about why we have so many protests around here.
i feel as if i'm coming down with a cold, but my throat's been really sore, my sinuses have been extremely dry, and my head seems to like to give me aches at random moments of the day. i want to get better as soon as possible, since, well, i'd like to be able to move my stuff and not have to puke all over the place while i'm transporting materials from one house to another.
happy birthday, shereen, you're twenty-two. wow, i feel young...
and now, i think, is nap time. go bears. (and pick up a copy of hardboiled if you haven't done so already!)
5.03.2003
as i was walking around campus today in this lovely berkeley weather (ie, rain and cloudiness and fog rolling in at five in the afternoon), i noticed something peculiar -- i had been wearing the same shoes every time it had rained on this campus. my black leather diesels, a little worn, with a torn aglet on my right shoelace. even more peculiar was how i noticed other people much more this time around. maybe it was partly due to the fact that their umbrellas were something to gawk at, but also that people themselves were pretty interesting on how they acted with umbrellas.
it looked odd that there was this one couple, on my way between le conte and soda, holding hands, but both of them had their own umbrella. now, same place, about five hours later, but now this time only one burgundy umbrella and the couple under it. there was suh a distinct difference between the two of them, just a stark observation on how people act around here. sure, the couple with the two umbrellas may have been having an awesome time. i'm just saying that the couple who might have potentially gotten a little bit wetter because they were sharing an umbrella was a little more fun to watch.
i helped do some layout stuff for hardboiled's final issue of the semester. it was fun, hanging around christine's place, helping her write a fun editor's note as well as do the tedious menial layout bitch jobs that came along with it. once again, on the ways of learning experiences, it was one to remember.
i also finished phase i of my telebears today. boy, did that suck. (seeing the words 'waitlist' and 'status pending' together in the same table really suck ass.)
along with that, i saw xmen 2 at the ua with sam and shereen. man, that movie was amazing. a feast for the eyes, much more so than the mind, but a great experience nonetheless. if you're a fan, i suggest you watch it. and look out for the one scene with the one guy who's really hot.
um, happy birthday ryan, i just called you, but still. i miss and love you a lot -- have fun.
and thus begins saturday.
it looked odd that there was this one couple, on my way between le conte and soda, holding hands, but both of them had their own umbrella. now, same place, about five hours later, but now this time only one burgundy umbrella and the couple under it. there was suh a distinct difference between the two of them, just a stark observation on how people act around here. sure, the couple with the two umbrellas may have been having an awesome time. i'm just saying that the couple who might have potentially gotten a little bit wetter because they were sharing an umbrella was a little more fun to watch.
i helped do some layout stuff for hardboiled's final issue of the semester. it was fun, hanging around christine's place, helping her write a fun editor's note as well as do the tedious menial layout bitch jobs that came along with it. once again, on the ways of learning experiences, it was one to remember.
i also finished phase i of my telebears today. boy, did that suck. (seeing the words 'waitlist' and 'status pending' together in the same table really suck ass.)
along with that, i saw xmen 2 at the ua with sam and shereen. man, that movie was amazing. a feast for the eyes, much more so than the mind, but a great experience nonetheless. if you're a fan, i suggest you watch it. and look out for the one scene with the one guy who's really hot.
um, happy birthday ryan, i just called you, but still. i miss and love you a lot -- have fun.
and thus begins saturday.
5.01.2003
me alegro de que esta semana no me vaya a matar. pienso que es algo tan interesante que yo no tengo mucho de tarea ni exámenes -- en cada otro caso, sería el revés. también quiero expresar mi gratitud a mis amigos que me han ayudado tras de pocos crisis. muchas gracias a todos ustedes; esperen, porque el porvenir tiene muchas cosas para que nos los gocen.
no sé por qué decidía escribir algo en español. probablemente hablar con mis amigos en otro lenguaje me parece no tan extraño, y esta vez decidí en hacerlo para que yo practique y también exprese en otra manera, en vez de inglés o portugués. nate me ha dicho que expresarme en otro lenguaje podría ser poco terapéutico. me ha aconsejado bien muchas veces en el pasado – ¿y porque ahora no debería seguirlo?
había pensado en muchas cosas que me molestan. espero que después de esta semana, no voy a experimentar sentimientos difíciles de explicar, ni problemas dramáticos en que necesito la ayuda de profesionales.
muchas personas en la universidad (aquí en berkeley) van a graduarse después de este semestre. es un poco triste que no voy a ver estas personas en el año siguiente, y la vida va y viene. me extrañaré todas estas personas que han cambiado mi vida, de algún manera, no obstante cuánto. estas amistades que han formado este año pasado, soy mejor en parte de éstas. ni yo quiero cambiar ni hacer algo diferente, si tuviera la oportunidad. recordaré todas las memorias, desde el primer partido de fútbol americano, a la ciudad de oklahoma para tocar música para nuestro equipo de básquetbol, a comer una merienda en el apartamento de shereen y elizabeth, a conocer jon más como persona y no la figura de autoridad, a hacerles a sonreír ann y emily cada vez que las veía. también conocí mejor todo el ex-comm, en cualquiera experiencia que me han llevado.
a todos que van a graduarse, les voy a extrañar, aunque todavía tenemos casi una mes más de tiempo juntos.
me encantan ustedes, y buena suerte en todos sus esfuerzos.
no sé por qué decidía escribir algo en español. probablemente hablar con mis amigos en otro lenguaje me parece no tan extraño, y esta vez decidí en hacerlo para que yo practique y también exprese en otra manera, en vez de inglés o portugués. nate me ha dicho que expresarme en otro lenguaje podría ser poco terapéutico. me ha aconsejado bien muchas veces en el pasado – ¿y porque ahora no debería seguirlo?
había pensado en muchas cosas que me molestan. espero que después de esta semana, no voy a experimentar sentimientos difíciles de explicar, ni problemas dramáticos en que necesito la ayuda de profesionales.
muchas personas en la universidad (aquí en berkeley) van a graduarse después de este semestre. es un poco triste que no voy a ver estas personas en el año siguiente, y la vida va y viene. me extrañaré todas estas personas que han cambiado mi vida, de algún manera, no obstante cuánto. estas amistades que han formado este año pasado, soy mejor en parte de éstas. ni yo quiero cambiar ni hacer algo diferente, si tuviera la oportunidad. recordaré todas las memorias, desde el primer partido de fútbol americano, a la ciudad de oklahoma para tocar música para nuestro equipo de básquetbol, a comer una merienda en el apartamento de shereen y elizabeth, a conocer jon más como persona y no la figura de autoridad, a hacerles a sonreír ann y emily cada vez que las veía. también conocí mejor todo el ex-comm, en cualquiera experiencia que me han llevado.
a todos que van a graduarse, les voy a extrañar, aunque todavía tenemos casi una mes más de tiempo juntos.
me encantan ustedes, y buena suerte en todos sus esfuerzos.
you feel so small sometimes
miguel
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