migblog

did i tell you that we won big game? yeah. we did. 30-7. and everything that led up to it -- pier 39, the cable car rally, newman guarding, big game titration, the noon rally, the newman shb, dyeing my hair electric blue, sleeping in brh, going to the second east bay bus, the bonfire rally, getting a total of about twenty hours of sleep the entire week and having to perform pregame faster than ever, and then dancing in front of the student section, and waching the goalposts come down... this is a week i will never forget.

i've had about three days to recuperate (and attend class) and everything's going very well. it's kinda sad seeing everyone leave early for thanksgiving, but i'm leaving the morning of, so i've nothing to say. except that being in my own bedroom for the span of four days will be more than enough to weird me out. or suck me back in to socal lifestyle.

we're making buttons. "spoiled newman" buttons and "newman guarding 2002" buttons. because as the newmen, we rock. and we're going to have a kick-ass oldmen football team next year.

besides that one time wih the paramedics after newman guarding (damn you noli and rebecca! j/k. i actually had a lot of fun trying to get shaving cream out of my hair) it was fantastic.

well, it's wednesday afternoon. i'm leaving tomorrow in the early morning -- heading home, rather -- and i'm expecting the house to be crammed full of people i don't know or relatives i haven't seen in forever or my cousins that i really miss a lot. then the following day i have nothing else lined up after a dental appointment. then saturday -- ah yes, shopping -- and i'm leaving saturday night. going back ot berkeley, rather. it's weird. it's like living in two places at the same time.

call me one i'm down there. we'll do stuff, kiddos. like, shop. or catch up with each other. or hell, just have fun.

posted by Open Source Food @ 1:48 PM 0 comments

no sleep til big game.

posted by Open Source Food @ 9:10 AM 0 comments

[nb: if you need any translations, leave a comment. i'll be more than happy to give you one.]

la suite des saisons

i. printemps.

les fleurs fleurissent,
les oiseaux chantent,
l'eau noie ma mémoire.

comment j'ai aspiré à voir la générosité du printemps.

les oiseaux dansent,
les enfants rient,
mon coeur casse une plus de fois.

comment cruelle est la tendresse du printemps.

elle donne naissance aux choses merveilleuses.
elle rend lui des enfants heureux.
à la vérité et pourrait elle offre adieu.

comment affreux est le printemps.


ii. été.

la chaleur mauvaise infiltre la scène.
le vert est plus vert qu'il a jamais été.
l'été a été,
l'été a été.

le vent souffle au nord et envoie le danger,
effrayé de ce qui pourrait se produire aujourd'hui.
l'été a vu,
l'été a vu.

le soleil et la lune et tous les étoiles jouent,
ignorant du malevolence qui vient à leur rencontre.
l'été a su,
l'été a su.

il est fatigué et fâché et frustré de l'amour
parce qu'il doit supporter cette douleur d'apparence vague encore.
l'été a pleuré,
l'été a pleuré.


iii. automne.

chute rouge et rose et orange vers le bas,
vers le bas,
vers le bas...
le gris peint la couleur du soleil.
l'odeur de la saleté battant ci-dessous,
ci-dessous,
ci-dessous...
il me rappelle les promenades vives l'après-midi
quand je me rappellerais au sujet du foyer
et le crépitement du feu dans la cheminée.
le sentiment du béton humide
évoque des mémoires d'enfance.
la vie était si simple alors.


iv. hiver.

la chaleur est allée,
le rire s'est fanée,
là n'est pas plus
de tout est morte --
tout est silencieuse.

il est trop silencieux.

la neige enveloppe la vie
là n'est rien mais le froid.
le soleil sourit,
la lune célèbre,
les étoiles applaudissent.

il est trop silencieux.

je m'assieds dans la neige.
je regarde vers le haut le ciel de nuit
il y a une montée subite de lumière --
le temps s'arrête.
il y a un sourire sur mon visage.

il est trop silencieux.

posted by Open Source Food @ 8:31 PM 0 comments

le soleil

le soleil pleure.
il veut être a aimé.
il doit être a aimé.

j'espère qu'il pourra voir ce que
je vois.
je vois le soleil,
fort, chaud, heureux.

il s'inquiète trop.

et c'est la raison pour laquelle
il a cessé le chant.
il avait l'habitude de chanter tellement
admirablement.

je pense que le soleil
ne brille pas.
il pleure.

il pleure seulement maintenant.

posted by Open Source Food @ 8:28 PM 0 comments

la lune

quand la lune brille
et touche mon oeil
je me demande.

je me demande ce que je pourrais faire
pour faire l'arrêt de temps
et pour vous inciter à comprendre.

je me souhaite ai su tout.

un froid fonctionne à travers mon épine
et je m'arrête.

je m'arrête.

je meurs.

la lune sourit.
elle ne se demande pas plus.
elle ne veut pas plus.

parce que la lune brille
je meurs...

je me sens la culpabilité
parce que la lune brille.
elle continue au sourire.

je disparais tranquillement dans la nuit.

la nuit fait écho l'allumette.
une bougie allume
et élucide l'obscurité.

mon âme est perdue dans l'obscurité.

aidez-moi à la trouver encore.

posted by Open Source Food @ 6:29 PM 0 comments

to whom it may concern:

i am sorry.

i'm sorry if you feel i had been ignoring you or had too little time for you. you have every right to feel that way. i mean, i wasn't really helping when i wouldn't talk back or i was too busy studying. i know i might sound a little selfish at times, but hey, do realize that i need some time to myself as well. if i acted rudely or out of line, i'm sorry. if i acted erratically and inexplicably, i'm sorry. if i made you feel like a complete idiot, i'm sorry. if i haven't been talking, i'm sorry. but see, that's all i really can be right now is sorry. i can't just go home whenever i want and see you personally to say it to your face. i've had to make the time to talk, especially what with everything going on. call me a horrible person, call me selfish, call me histrionic. but i am sorry.

if i haven't been talking, there are reasons. i'm just extremely busy or it's not me on the line. if i act as if i'm avoiding some topic, it's just because i probably just had a midterm and definitely not in the mood for any type of talking. if you feel i've been rude to you, disrespectful, or have been ignoring you, please tell me. i can't read your mind. try to meet me halfway and at least tell me something. anything.

it's hard trying to hold back tears when you know something's dastardly wrong.

i might not be avaiilable every single moment of the day, but i try. i try to make time. i'm sorry if i haven't been corresponding with you as much as either of us would have liked, and i hope you let me know so that we can talk about this. i'm making time because it's about time.

again, sorry. i hope you all find it in yourselves to forgive me.

sin título

discúlpame
si quieres.

todo lo que
puedo hacer
es esperar.

cuando
las palabras
se escapen de
tu boca, de tu voz...

espero que
las palabras
me liberen de
mi tristeza.

escribo una nota
en mi cuaderno.
se dice
"nunca tienes razón."

¿dónde está
la respuesta tuya?

estoy esperando.
sabes donde estoy.
estaré esperando.

posted by Open Source Food @ 1:56 AM 0 comments

so there's this thing about a second set of midterms (boo) that just makes you think you'll do worse on it than the first set, which in itself was bad enough. maybe it's the fleeting passage of time from between the first set to the second one, maybe it actually is the material getting progressively difficult, maybe it's just that i am so ready for next semester. maybe it's a weird combination of all three, but meh. i still feel horrible before taking a test, and just a little bit worse after the fact.

my schedule for the spring looks to be extremely fun. i have a spanish seminar, a spanish literary analysis class, and a spanish oral practice class, along with an advanced portuguese lecture and study workshop, a biology class about the brain, mind and behavior, and wind ensemble. if i get into china, then i'll sign up for the second class. i'm extremely excited to see how that goes.

it's looking like cognitive science will be my double major. it's got this fun thing attached to it, i don't know why. but i'm planning on emphasizing the linguistics part of it, and that alone makes me want to delve deeper into the subject.

i hope i survive this next set of midterms. after that, it's party on at arizona state university because by then i will have gone to every single football game of my newman year. hell yeah.

and did i mention that i still have 100% SHB percentage? that's right. one of eight people. mmhmm.

posted by Open Source Food @ 8:49 PM 0 comments