migblog

more than you will ever know
and more than i will ever admit to.

sleep well and smile for me.

it's a weird feeling, this. i'm trying to let it sink in that today might be the last day i would hang out with ann and emily. then, it's a game of who's next. it's as if i'm supposed to be happy for saying goodbye to these people, and for them i am, but for me, i'm saddened. saddened but grateful, but still. how do i tell someone that i'm going to miss them so much, with such uncertainty of when i'm going to see them again? how do you tell someone you love them so much and don't know when you'll see them next?

i thought i grew out of this last year, when people said goodbye to me instead of me saying goodbye to people. i guess not. and this time around, saying goodbye's that much worse since there's no certainty embedded in all of this. it's not like saying goodbye to high school friends, since they'll be at the same place for a while. just the mere thought of a few people leaving seems so alien to me. jenny's going to michigan; that's so weird. ginger's in europe right now. and again, the question becomes: who's next?

i have never been so sure and unsure in my entire life until now, three twenty in the morning of may eighteenth, two thousand three. never have i been more sure of so many things, and so unsure of so many other things. half of me wants to say everything i know, and the other half wants to hug me like there's no tomorrow to comfort me. i am a confused and certain young man, striving to be the opposite of complacent and the paramount of focus.

more than you will ever know, and more than i will ever admit to. sleep well and smile for me.

posted by Open Source Food @ 3:25 AM