migblog

i am so ready for finals, but finals aren't ready for me yet.

i thought today was friday, and i wanted it so badly to be friday, but no. that would mean completing this paper i have. and it's supposed to be twenty-some-odd pages long. and considering i just finished a monster of a paper yesterday, i am so ready to take a test where you just open a blue book and write for three hours. it sounds disgusting, i know, but when you think about it, no one can bs a paper quite like i can.

and i bs quite good when it comes to finals.

there are these certain words that show up just around finals time that never seem to surface elsewhere in my daily vocabulary. examples of this range from "mitigate" to "transmogrification," from "pulchritudinous" to "unergative." big words: they'll get you far enough to where you feel smart as all hell but won't land you any sort of lucrative job. (or a job at all, for that matter.)

speaking of finals, it's also around the time when evaluations come out for instructors. i think for the first time in my career here i'm going to be brutally honest in my evaluations. no more just circling 7's or writing "good gsi" on there; no, i think i'll actually take the ten minutes allotted and fill that shit out.

you can feel it getting just a little crazier here at berkeley, too. the weather turned from summer to gloom almost literally overnight, and as you might expect, everyone's just a bit down because whenever they look outside and see clouds and fog instead of sun and tanktops, that old feeling of euphoria where you can't wait to get out of class just dies. and you die a little inside. and a little more because you can't stand the monotone of your gsi's voice, nor the incessant tap-tap-screech-scratch of the chalk going across the chalkboard.

i feel fulfilled after this semester. granted, i didn't go to a few lectures and a few discussions, but this would really be the first time i could say that i was spent after a semester of hard classes. they were all interesting in their own veins; the instructors just as interesting as the material they presented. (of course, some of them were much more interesting than the others, but i guess that's what makes it even more interesting.)

and i don't just mean fulfilled like "i'm so over going to college," but fulfilled in the sense that i really felt like i accomplished something, like i had finally found that goddamned spot where i was supposed to be, where i'm just content with all my classes and the grades i will probably get. i don't care if i get out of academic probation, and you know, that feels just as good to say as i'm done with my paper.

so despite the weather being crummy, i feel just fine. i still have internet thanks to my clueless neighbor upstairs, my kitchen is finally clean again, and the only thing left for me to do is finish my laundry (if only that bitch would stop laying claim to the laundry room once the afternoon happens!). but i still can't wait until finals happen, because once they happen, that feeling of a burden being lifted of your shoulders feels good -- a little too good, but good nonetheless -- and i am so ready to have this giant rock of five tests off of my back.

so here's to finals week (they lie and call it finals week when it's more like "week and a half of finals"), where students go crazy in the main stacks, where coffee is more precious than quarters, and where food only seems to matter when you really need to know how to do math or biology.

to your musings and dealings with cunctatorship and procrastination, i bid you good luck, and of course, go bears.

posted by Open Source Food @ 10:34 AM