migblog

i had one of the most inspiring times yesterday when we decided to just rent a car and wing the whole day, when we ended up spending the day near and around point reyes, where everything was just a touch greener and the sea smelled a little saltier and the sun was shining a little brighter. i didn't expect to go to tomales bay and go on a nature trail; i didn't expect to go to point reyes, let alone the lighthouse. it was exciting -- i had never been surrounded by green fields, and across the horizon, past the hazardous cliffs, was ocean; a marvelous, blue-green expanse dotted by specks of foam and waves, a playground for common murres and whales and who knows what else was right below us at the time.

it was so gorgeous.

i forgot yesterday was a friday, too: partly the reason why we got to go everywhere was the lack of traffic, until 5.30 rolled around and we were still near san rafael and san anselmo, literally blocks away from dominican university at one point when we were navigating through the north bay.

soon enough we made our way back to richmond and to berkeley, pausing a bit to collect ourselves (we did just go to point reyes lighthouse, which had approximately 320 steps leading to the lighthouse cliff itself, and yes, i climbed them up and down). the night was a little quiet; a little more subdued, but all in all a good day when it came down to it.

i had a tough time trying to figure out why, then, i felt so miserable.

it was all fun, it fit the whole "feast for the eyes" bill, and yes, it even stirred me a little when the waves lapping up on indian beach reminded me of oysters. but through the while, i felt like i was someone else, something else, a little discombobulated and stilted at this point in our day-long venture.

and even more stilted is what it became, it felt a little more rehearsed and a little more alienated, because somewhere along the way i didn't feel like myself anymore, and actually had to roll down the windows to get me a breath of fresh air to bring me back to myself again.

have you ever had the feeling of losing yourself, quite literally, to everything else around you? it sounds like a great experience, but when it happened to me, it was almost one of the most frustratingly traumatic experiences of my entire life, up there with near-drowning and public humiliation.

so no, i still haven't figured out why a beautiful, bright, sunny day like yesterday near destroyed me.

and it keeps going on.

have a great spring break, kids. it's only a day away.

posted by Open Source Food @ 10:13 AM