migblog

berkeley should change its motto from "fiat lux" to "where your best is never good enough."

i always feel like that when it comes time for midterms and papers. i feel like i'm putting out my best effort, and i feel good after taking tests, but when the grade comes back for the project i just feel defeated. it's like i was the average student all along, though in high school i was in the group of five kids who always finished tests first or always got good grades on papers. it's different, though, because now i'm in a sea of people who come from that very same background, and they're all probably kicking my ass concerning all they do is study.

i try to have a life. is that tantamount to getting really bad grades? or sacrificing being social to earn a grade that was probable mediocre in the first place?

i hate being the mediocre one in class. i hate being not motivated in class, when i feel the crossword is more important than the day's lesson. i hate it, because i feel like i'm wasting my time in something i don't really love.

so what do i do?

i feel so icky.

posted by Open Source Food @ 12:29 PM