migblog

summer refrain

"no drama, you guys, i'm not going to start any drama."

by day two of tour, someone had already set their mind on leaving; by the fourth day, there were five people going back up to norcal.

in the in-between was a lot of singing, lying around on the beach, in transit (read: stuck in la traffic), young people, of course, food. there were some moments of relief and happiness, but as someone pointed out, "this trip hasn't given me a reason to be happy."

myself, i looked forward to flying out of southern california to the east coast, where adventures abounded.

but for a few moments there, i realized that i made true friends, ones i would genuinely miss. it was a little heartbreaking knowing that i wouldn't see them for a while, and if i did, that the separation of age, time, and space would take its toll. it's like what everyone wrote in their high school yearbooks: keep in touch, best friends forever. the follow-through never happens.

i felt that by the end of those four days we had all started to form our own little cliques, and that the edge that everyone was on was enough to send someone down the cliff. but i think for the most part we survived, solidifying some already-concrete relationships, burning a few bridges, and building new ones.

for what it's worth, my experience with air was good. i couldn't complain.

some things just have to end, i guess.

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the flight to new york was painful: sandwiched between a snoring old man and a trendy 40-year old woman who wouldn't stop reading out loud, i was banished to drink half a can of ginger ale and eat bad plane food (i know it's a little redundant, but the opposite would have been an oxymoron). the movie was rumor has it, and rumor had it that it was bad, so i dodn't watch it. i solved three crosswords. i tried to nap. my back ached.

but as soon as i got out of the airport and headed to the city, i flashed back a few years, memories spinning in my head over the greatest summers of my life.

and i felt the warm, humid summer air envelop me as i got out of the cab, reminding me that yes, it was summer in new york, and that i was back.

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i gallivanted all over town, retracing steps untaken for years, trouncing on subway lines and sitting among magnificent pieces of art and architecture. i took myself on a walking journey, from ground zero to the met, on my first day of excursion, meeting up with new york friends and reliving the hotspots of high school almost too literally -- it was near 80 degrees every day i was there. nights at brooklyn were standard, and were a welcome change of pace from the frenetics of manhattan.

then the next day ben showed up and we tripped over to greenwich village, lunching and winding up at moma. i explored park slope for a bit, eating late at blue ribbon, and sweating the night away -- even at night, brooklyn was around 75 degrees.

the museum of natural history was a great break from art and architecture, and relieving, to a point -- it was a raucous place, different from the stifling silence of the met and the grand scale of moma; there was applause and laughter around corners, and the energy was different. i revisited the dioramas, took in one of the most engrossing and intriguing installations about evolution i had come upon, and marveled at scale and size.

soon afterwards my aunts and i met up in the east village, where we had a rendezvous with little italy and the summer street festival and soho. it didn't feel at all like memorial day. in fact it didn't feel like any particular day while i was there -- like it had all been one stream of consciousness from friday to tuesday, drifting in and out of zoning in.

and sure, the talk was all talk. i don't know if i nailed anything nor if i guaranteed myself a spot in the next class, but only time will tell.

i spent my last day in the lower east side, looking at dogs, eating at katz's, and drinking beer. it felt like home.

the most heart-wrenching part was getting into that car and telling the driver that i had to be in san francisco, knowing that what lay ahead was work and more work, moving, and stasis.

i wanted to stay so badly. i wanted to find myself again. i wanted to wander through the streets and feel like a part of something bigger than i was.

i'll be back soon.

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returning to the cool pacific breeze was a reminder that this, for the moment, was home. this was it, the bastion of liberalism and vegans, home of organic food and academia. and friends -- home to many friends who cherished each other's time and being, appreciative of support and hearing your voice.

the bay area holds a special place in my heart, because this was where i realized i had one.

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as cliché as it sounds, you are the change you want to be.

be.

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may friends you love know.

posted by Open Source Food @ 1:30 PM