a strange exhilaration
i don't know what he's after.-----
i just want you to know how i feel, whatever it is or was. and it hurts, but like you say, stay strong, and i will. and i'll never understand the whys and the ifs and the buts, but give it some time. i'll get there eventually.
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the people that keep you grounded usually don't deserve the shit they go through. give them hugs, tell them how much they mean to you, and make them smile. you'll make their day. it's worth the trouble telling them because they appreciate it about a million times back.
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when creative people get together and different energies from different outlets seem to mesh on that one wavelength, it's a great thing to behold. when you hear a line of music, when you see a certain color, when you feel that rhythm in your head pounding on your hands and feet -- that synchronicity is what those creative energies are fueling towards, and it's an amazing thing when it clicks.
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gina is a fantastic roommate. i should be so lucky.
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to feel so much doesn't mean to be so much; too feel with others doesn't mean to be sympathetic so much. to feel and to live, to breathe, takes the collective effort of many sympathies and the foolish persistence of your being. to live, in effect, is to taunt death, to realize that one moment of extreme mortality, your life flashing before your eyes, gasping for air.
it's a fine line between life and death.
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shambles. my life is in shambles.
and i'm kinda okay with that.
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