migblog

so there's this girl who sat behind us in my environmental design class today, and i had never seen her sit behind us before, and my god, she was the loudest person in class. any little thing that my professor did, she would laugh or make stupid comments to the person next to her, who, afflicted by this contagious loudmouthing disease she carries, retorts right back. and i got so mad, i wanted to turn around and say, "shut the fuck up, you dumb bitch, some people actually want to learn in this class" but i didn't because i thought that would be too arrogant.

i love how i can play something like that in my head, over and over again -- some dreams i have, i do that -- but it kinda scares me because, after seeing memento, i'm afraid i might condition myself into being this schizophrenic, multiple-personality amnesiac who gets so detached from living in the real world. and i think i'm halfway there going to school here, but i can just see myself inching further forward into that gap.

speaking of gaps, the one here at berkeley (one of the original ten) is closing down. sad times, since this gap's been here forever. i think it was an homage in part by the ceos of gap inc. (they graduated from cal.)

i'm slowly drowning myself in work and more work -- papers, homework, midterms, tourguiding, moonlighting -- but i think that's exactly what i need, since then i won't be thinking about stupid depressing tidbits of the day and the result is i'll be out of debt and i won't have a social life. the tradeoffs, the tradeoffs. you take what you can get.

it's been a trying week, really. i'm reconnecting with people i haven't talked to in years, i've been going to all my classes (i'm so diligent!), and i've been in constant contact with someone in my family, whether it be my brother in palo alto, my mom currently vacationing in the philippines, or my grandma, sick as a dog at home.

things aren't going to stop until the third week of march, and even then, i'll be working.

but i can't lose sight of the sweet, sweet year that's going to pass me by so quickly, waiting for me to just revel in all its glory as i await graduation.

and i'm so glad that stupid girl won't be sitting behind me for commencement.

posted by Open Source Food @ 1:31 PM