migblog

first off, i am so happy to be back in california.

second off, i am so happy to be in college.

third off, i am so happy to be an american, but so ashamed of the actions of the leader of my country.

finally, i am so happy to be in berkeley for spring break.

getting back from oklahoma city that saturday night was such a trip. we all wanted to forget the loss, we all wanted to forget the boredom, we all wanted to forget the horrible time spent at the god-awful waterford marriott where the walls were paper-thin and the management was stupider than a retarded cow, we all wanted to forget the expensive cab rides to everywhere, we all wanted to forget oklahoma city altogether. that might explain why on the charter flight back people were more than eager to release their aggressions on each other. i must admit, though, that pillow fights, dance parties, and ass-grabbing at the back of the plane is more fun than five days in oklahoma. there was about a good seven hours i spent having fun in oklahoma -- a couple with friends, a couple seeing those awesome dachsunds at the world of wings pigeon center, a couple hanging out and making do with what you had. the rest of the time, well, let's just say that was sub-par.

i visited my old high school band yesterday as they were on their trip to san francisco. i came to see old friends and reminisce about good times. it was an amazing experience, and i was so glad to have seen those guys before they moved on with the rest of their high school careers. some of those sights were especially unexpected and great -- seeing andrea, seeing erica, seeing jenpen, seeing jay, seeing nick, seeing felicia, seeing joe, seeing kody. i had such a blast with those guys, up until a cloud cast over the air when a certain someone began to spread rumors of someone else celebrating as she wallowed in her own misery. and then, apparently, things turned around and ended up biting her in the ass -- something she knew was coming but was totally unprepared for when it happened. i didn't know that a simple visit to say hello and catch up with some people would end up turning that band trip into a nightmare. i ended up saying hello to the people i cared for most, and they wanted to say hello to me because they wanted to actively seek a healthy relationship. i already did my half of the bargain showing up. the other half would amount to you coming up to me and saying hi. i already made the effort, but when she consciously knew to avoid me, well, then, that's her loss.

and the one thing i hate about it is her pulling other people into this mess. felicia, for one, didn't know what to think when she was given a one-sided view rather than the whole argument. tyler is so confused since he doesn't know who and what to believe. ross is hurt since she spread some things about him that were untrue. and now, her closest circle of friends is distrusting her, not knowing whether to believe her or not, waiting to see if she would stab anyone else in the back before they do anything else. and she can't handle it, since everything had gone her way before and had worked out the way she wanted things to work out. there's a line between being determined and being selfish, and she stepped over that line too many times for her own good. and the sad thing is, people let it happen since they like her too much, and that she held some sort of power position, enough so much to scare them into following her. they like her way too much to say anything, to say something critical that might make her tick. she knows it, and she can't handle herself doing it.

all i really wanted was to say hi, and that if she were there, i would have extended the same cordiality that i had been presenting to everyone else. but the fact of the matter is she wasn't, that she avoided me out of her own will, and that she didn't want to reconcile anything that had been floating up in the air. as far as things go for me, those things have dropped. it doesn't matter anymore. i'm happy now, and that's all that matters to me.

that awful war going on half a world away is scaring me. bombs are going off, people are dying, ideals are being compromised for ulterior motives. i feel kinda cheated that the president just went ahead and decided to declare such an act to start something that i have a feeling we cannot finish. that he went ahead and did it out of his own will, that the rest of the world wasn't in favor of it. in this matter, what was right was what was popular, and the president, in declaring war, gave america such a bad name. don't get me wrong, i'm proud to be an american, but i am ashamed of the actions that the leader of my country has taken. everyone should have felt underrepresented when he began the ultimatum. hell, everyone should have felt underrepresented when the votes tallied up to his garnering the presidency, but we all just let that slide. now, though, he's gone too far trying to solve this economic problem that the country has by going to war.

spring break started two days ago. as for my plans, well, i'm going to stay here in berkeley. i didn't want to deal with stuff back home, and then to come back and get the high school thing thrown in my face again. i was more than happy to plan my week in berkeley and the bay area. there's so much to do here, so many things to do that i haven't done, so many things to try, to finish, to start, to enjoy. i love this place, the bay area, and all the little quirks and eccentricities that come along with it. i'll probably end up doing some work, but i'm going to take a break and enjoy myself for the next few days. i deserve it.

let the madness begin.

posted by Open Source Food @ 10:45 AM