migblog

maybe it's william hung, or maybe it's that i've had these weird, recurring dreams and delusions of grandeur just yearning to get out like fuck-all since the seventh grade, or most likely it's that i slept for four hours and am feeling great right now (seriously). i'd like to think it's the second one; i see enough of william everyday on campus anyway.

so there's this one dream i have where i'm such a rockstar it even disgusts me. i'm wearing some crazy couture clothes -- the top emblazoned with a giant american flag -- and leather (pleather?) pants. it's horrid. in my dream i know how to play guitar and i sing like a god. and every audience to my concerts is naked, all of them with their gadonks and hoohahs and bigboys hanging out. and then there were the girls.

another manifestation of this grandiose me was the "better-than-you" me: anything you can do, i can do better, and i did do it better, and then you tried to outdo me but you couldn't because i had already made the best thing ever. i pissed off einstein in my dream because i made a nuclear bomb without being so dirty with fallout afterwards (no holocaust!). i also remember making al gore cry, which was sad because it was like the first time since he appeared on snl that he showed any emotion.

some dreams, i can fly. i usually fly over cities -- new york and san francisco, especially, even though i haven't seen them from an aerial view -- except for los angeles. anytime i'm in a dream in los angeles, i'm driving. and i always seem to have johnny cash or elvis presley in the background, and everything seems so disjointed like madonna's video for 'music.'

i can school you in japanese when i dream, too. bitch. karaoke means empty orchestra. take that. (not to mention my fluency in russian and vietnamese, where in each instance i sound like i'm speaking english (to myself) and the other person replies in said language. it's like subtitles but not really -- i'm confusing you.)

my favorite, though, has to be when i'm in a house i've never been in but have felt so comfortable being there, the fireplace on. i have the hugest liquor cabinet (let's call it a liquor room), a library, and of course, puppies. the cutest one is this amazing pembroke corgi i've named bert, and he can do somersaults. he's hella smart, and he fetches my brandy when i ask him for it. and by god, i look good in this dream. i never thought that grey would look good on me, but goddamn i look good in grey.

now that i feel somewhat stupid for saying that, let me ask you the same question: what are you like when you dream?

posted by Open Source Food @ 9:52 AM