migblog

cheer up
honey I hope you can
there is something wrong with me
my mind is filled with silvery stars

yeah, well, things just happened to suck all at the same time.

honey kisses about to fly
shoulders shrugging off
cheer up
honey I hope you can
there is something wrong with me
my mind is filled with radio cures
electronic surgical words

nate suggested that i write to get myself all purged from this non-goodness i'm feeling. i'm extremely frustrated and just overall annoyed at some things (some of them would probably sound extremely trivial to you right now, but you know, i have to take it upon myself to be selfish at times. i need to be in order for me to get by. really, i do). so, here i am, a few minutes after we had our long chat over the phone.

picking apples
for the kings and queens of things I've never seen
all distance has no way
of making love understandable

do i let things get to me so easily? i think i do. and if it's part of this so-called growing up, then let it slap me in the face and bite me in the neck over and over again. if it's me "over-analyzing" life, then sure, let that be it. if it's me acting stupid because i can, then let that be it. if it's me being selfish because i feel like i need to be, then let that be it. if i just want a piece of that recognition, this lack of fulfillment in my psyche, to fill up this gaping void in the very center of my being, then definitely let that be that. whatever it is, i'm going nuts about it, and it's not at all due to anything academic. i finished that last week; this week, it's just shit that i'm deep in, and all i really want is to just get out of it all.

cheer up
honey I hope you can
there is something wrong with me
my mind is filled with silvery stars

honey kisses clouds of love

am i setting myself up for something i really don't want? how this one little thing can possibly change my life, forever, and that i can't do a thing about it but wait? i guess you can chalk it up to that whole excitement of things, or being a naive and sheepish freshman, why i act like this. everything's so new, i love everything, everything's the best thing ever. i'm going crazy for not having done and seen and met up with a lot of people and things. i feel so incomplete and annoyed at the fact that i let this get to me so easily, too. as much as i don't want it to happen, it does, and when it does, i end up smacking myself upside the head since i'm that much of a "good" person to end up telling people the truth.

picking apples
for the kings and queens of things I've never seen
all distance has no way
of making love understandable
all distance has no way
of making love understandable
all distance has no way
of making love understandable
all distance has no way
of making love understandable

i can't really go up to anyone and say "i don't like you" unless it's totally necessary. nor can i tell anyone what i really think of them, and to a fault, it's a good thing, because i will probably make you cry when i do. some people know when i'm being hostile. and to get that receiving end almost suffocate you, it's a doozy to work out.

cheer up
honey I hope you can

i hope to figure things out soon enough. and maybe the weekend will not be as shitty as i projected. maybe i'm just a little too optimistic right now, but i need to get happy.

i hope i can cheer up.

posted by Open Source Food @ 10:36 PM