bananas, that's what
crazy end to a crazy week? i think so.it started off with my turning 21 at davis, but it didn't really hit me much until everyone started calling and leaving me emails and stuff. it felt tingly. and not like the tingly when your leg starts to fall asleep because you've been sitting too long; more like the tingly that happens after a good 30-second session with listerine.
the whole week was mired by heart complications and other hullaballoo (read: norcal party and silent walk planning), but for the most part, i regained my sleep cycle, i've been drunk for four out of five nights, and have made a ton of new albeit young friends to keep for the rest of my lifetime. and of the friends i already had, we made a lot of good memories, some of which are captured forever in digital format, and strengthened our bonds in that way that you would probably invite these people to family events.
so what does it feel like being 21? i was hoping to come up with a profound, optimistic answer, but the best i can come up with is that i have to start paying my bills, establish a credit line, and be the good friend to buy all my other good friends alcohol. i noticed that i type a little faster, that my joints get sore quicker, that my patience is getting more and more tested, that social skills are second nature now, that i can actually cook a decent meal for myself, and that i am so responsible for everything else that happens forever.
not that it feels like a huge burden on my shoulders (it's not), but you know that sinking feeling like right before graduation or right before you have to get up and speak before a huge crowd and the pit of your stomach just goes nuts? like that times fifteen to the sixtieth power.
it feels like you're so old, especially since i've been in this place for close to four years, and i know where everything and everywhere is, but at the same time i feel like a naive little bitch who didn't do much with his life save for join band and speak four languages. some kid in switzerland could kick my ass if he learned an instrument. i don't feel too young, since some of my best friends are 17, but i feel kind of old too since the average age of everyone i hang out with would probably be closer to 25 than 21.
leave it to america to glamorize a shitty age to turn. now what can i do? pay my taxes, gamble all my money in vegas, and rent enterprise cars. i've been drinking since forever, and buying a lottery ticket is the closest thing i'll probably ever do to gambling -- unless you're talking about gambling with your life, then skydiving doesn't count. twenty-one is a step closer to being twenty-two. which, according to jessica simpson, is almost mid-twenties. (keen girl, her.)
since i've turned 21 i've noticed that things can be just as tenuous as they began, that friendships and relationships do change no matter how much you want to think that they don't. i've noticed people get older, and i've noticed people grow into themselves into bigger, if not better, things.
it really still hasn't hit me, but i'm sure one day while strolling around campus i'll be dumbstruck mid-conversation and it'll all come crashing down like a pile of bricks. bricks made out of goosedown, honey, and teddy bears. in all likelihood i'll have a smile on my face but i'm crying on the inside, blaming everyone and everything i see for what it is i know i can't explain.
so i guess, here's to being 21, because that shit is bananas.
pictures at the jump.
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the past week itself was full of interesting (mis)adventures, ranging from losing my voice on the bus ride back to davis, heart palpitations on monday (which continue until thursday, mind you), puking my guts out and going to the cardiologist's on tuesday, meeting my little bear and finding out that we're both really awesome people ("i'm glad they paired me up with a good one," he said), catching up with friends on thursday, and partying my ass off on friday.
somewhere in there i learned a show for the band, gave a few tours for work, regained my voice, and got internet at my new apartment, hence the long-ish update, not that anyone's really reading this, but go bears. whatever.
two words, kids: miguel's BUSY.
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nerding out on reno 911! second season dvd was a perfect birthday present.
also on the present list was a laundry hamper, a porcelain dog statue, and a magazine subscription.
it's one of those times when you feel old and not old at the same time.
but seriously though, i have the bestest little bear ever.
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