migblog

i've fallen into the lull, and i can't seem to get out, as hard as i try. (sound familiar? i thought so too, and then i realized it was the truth.)

someone particularly expressed this feeling of just being here. after class, i seem to just want to go home and not deal with anything. i really don't, and that sucks, because i'm missing out on so many things going on outside this janky apartment. i don't get excited about certain things anymore, i don't feel as if i can contribute enough to the next pressing issue. i hate this, this blankness. i feel like a waste of space.

i'm going crazy. and i mean it this time.

i guess it doesn't help me any that i'm somewhat sequestered from the wonderful atmosphere of the surrounding environs of berkeley. outside of campus, i haven't really left the house for anything interesting. no cavorting in a museum, no ogling great masterpieces of renaissance artists, no hearing the majestic strains of celli and oboes in symphony orchestras. nothing, zip, zilch, nada. my form of entertainment boils down to kqed and my cd collection, and i'm starting to somewhat get irked by my supply of cds.

there are so many things that occupy my mind, but when i sit down and want to think about them, it all goes back to the blankness.

blank blank blank blank blank

i give up.

posted by Open Source Food @ 8:27 PM