migblog

this is starting to get ridiculous when i can't even talk to my roommate face-to-face.

is being passive-aggressive such a good thing? i can't just run away, now, can i?

although, i must admit, chicago was more than a blast. there was me getting sick and getting knocked out by the nyquil, but all in all, a very good trip. the people were hospitable, the weather was amazingly nice (albeit dry at some points(, and the city was gorgeous. i love urban areas.

and the last week? as if it didn't happen? of course not. it lingers, you know. it kinda smacks at you with that nasty aftertaste, like after getting punched in the mouth and tasting all that iron-saltiness from your blood.

i am so tired. and i have no more energy.

this might be my last semester at cal, folks. might be. depends on how two weeks from now goes.

and as far as being in a relationship goes, it has its ups and its downs. mostly it's the downtime, but i really really love it when i have the uptime. because there's no ceiling there, there's just nice happy expanse that i can go to. but once it's over, i realize i have to crash back down to reality, and take a nasty fall once i do. and when it happens, when i feel that stinging bruise from the aftermath, it's a mindfuck.

i try to play it off as me being cheeky, or peppy, or unusually happy all the time. i don't want a lot of people knowing that i'm not quite the optimist everyone knows me to be.

i can't escape this, especially now.

i really wish i had something more to say, but my passive-aggressiveness keeps me from doing so because i'm too nice. and hell, once you read this, you'll pretty much have the idea of why i'm so frustrated all over again. it's fucking annoying. and i can't do a damn thing about it.

sooner or later, something has to give. and it's already given, and i'm just waiting for the most opportune moment for it to just all boil over and give me second-degree burns and blisters everywhere.

battle scars are gonna be all over me by the end of this month, i assure you that much.

i really do need to talk to you, though. y'all know who you are.

posted by Open Source Food @ 8:20 PM