migblog

i am so fucking mad right now, you don't want to fucking mess with me.

i want to bite something until my gums bleed, i want to wring something until my palms burn, i want to close my eyes and squeeze my eyelids shut until my skin rips on itself, i want to pound my head against this wooden beam above my head until my ears ring, i want to scream until my vocal cords die, i want to kick something until my toes fall off my foot, i want to drive something through something, i want splinters at the back of my neck, i want to snap the necks of innocent little fucking bunnies.

i want to listen to music so loud until my ears can't hear anything anymore.

i know this'll pass; i'll probably have forgotten whatever i'm mad about right now by this time tomorrow. but the goddamned principle of the thing... it's just so stupid. you think you're living on your own until the leash on your neck gets fucking pulled too tight, and it becomes a noose. yeah. so much for cutting the proverbial umbilical cord -- as much as i try to, the scissors are defective. there's nothing anyone can do until the doctor comes along and snips it himself. with surgical fucking scissors that can cut through anything. even deep, deep shit.

if it gets too quiet, i'm going to cry.

it's weird. i feel frustrated and angry and helpless and dejected and capitulatory and depressed. someone give me zoloft and a martini, i deserve it.

by the way, thanks to eddie and hiro and shereen and beth and angela and jacob for at least trying to make the rest of the day better. you guys are such rockstars. i love you all.

posted by Open Source Food @ 1:22 AM