migblog

i really really hate it when my body just messes up my circadian rhythm just because it can. i mean, it's 6.05 am (the bottom right hand corner of the screen says to me) and i am still up. like, from friday morning. why oh why can i not fall asleep? it's not like i have a final or anything tomorrow. i guess it's a good thing. by sunday, i'll have had my sleep pattern reorganized and i'll be ready to tackle my geology final on tuesday. speaking of which, i should really get the notes from somebody on that class. like, really.

i raped my math final and my english paper, thank you very much. now i only have my ed40 paper, due on monday, and said geology final. and it goes to say that i am not heading down to anaheim until the 21st. yeah, it's kinda lame. but then again, it'll be a nice, relaxing three days when i just hang out around berkeley / san francisco. it's a fascinating place, the bay area. i am very much grateful that i got into this school and had the pleasure of experiencing northern california like it is. university life isn't so bad -- it's actually quite refreshing and fantastic seeing new and vivacious faces everyday. everyday, there's a new person to meet, a new place to go to, a new thing to do. it's fantastic. it's so surreal sometimes, too. i'd never expected to go to san francisco wearing an obsolete tgi-fridays uniform and a straw hat, then play music for a tv station, then get fed the most fantastic burgers and garlic fries i have ever had in my entire life. it's amazing, this experience. i am so glad i'm here.

and another thing, i am so happy for the people around me. it's really rather relieving seeing the tension gone, and that there's no more worrying or mind games being played. it's a fantastic world. i'm so happy right now, and truthfully, i wish it the best of luck. it's amazing seeing something like that happen, you know -- something i can't really tell you as of yet, but hopefully i'll get to be the bringer of good news and shout it around the world. it's a secret i really want to tell, but obviously can't. i will tell you that i am extremely excited that this is happening, it's like, FINALLY, and then we can all go back to worrying about ourselves in our normal lives. i'm ecstatic right now, riding off of the highs from people around me. it's such a good feeling when everyone around you is bringing in and circulating this positive energy.

on a side note, i thought i'd go along and change my tone for something more unorthodox for my entries in fruitbasket. since everything i was doing was seemingly so predictable. faded photograph grew out of complete nothingness, a mere exercise of wanting to write and then, doing so. i wish i had more moments like those, the ones where you can just write and write and write until you've expended all your energies on writing and nothing else. it's like feeling the mental burn, pouring out the emotional juice, per se. it's a great feeling when i can write something and know that it might be inconsquential now, but then later on it turns out something political or even life-altering. the power of words surely does make me wonder. it encompasses all that is fine and symbolic and literate, and at the same time, it's so imaginary and abstract that at times it can make no sense but still strike a chord.

so. this would be my fourth non-academic all-nighter courtesy of the events at and around december 13th and 14th. i love you all. may rest find you quicker than it will find me.

posted by Open Source Food @ 6:23 AM